Should i have a baby? Or wait? Or why do I need that fuss at all? Are you asking these questions to yourself? Do people around keep asking you ‘when’?
I’ve seen various parenting stories: men who never wanted a child or desperately wanted one and became great involved fathers, men who wanted a baby but never really participated enough in sharing the parental duties, women who longed to dive into motherhood and got frustrated and desperate when they faced the reality of being left alone with the demanding little one or women who never really wanted to have a kid but kind of agreed to be influenced by their partner/ parents/ society etc, or women who wanted to become mothers and enjoyed every little bit of caring for their amazing little humans.
Once I heard ‘Parenting is the best job ever’, I also heard ‘Never ever am I going to have another baby’ or ‘I love my child but sometimes I miss those days before…’ I’ve seen mothers who claimed that children are happiness or new moms complaining that they were ‘cheated’ by such claims, I’ve heard of mothers, who were really bitter about their choice to become a parent, being called the most truthful ones. But are they?
In some cultures motherhood is a sacred and respectful role, in some it is considered that getting married and having kids is the life goal of a woman, in others breastfeeding alone equals slavery.
You never know how your parenting experience will be. And no matter what you hear, read or watch, you will never be prepared enough. This I can tell you for sure. You may enjoy this blissful time alone with the cute angel or you may feel desperate, exhausted and lonely with the little cranky monster. Every story is different. Here’s mine.
I really wanted to have a baby and when the little one was born, we were kind of shocked for some time. We knew it would be hard but so… No, we didn’t expect that. And nobody had ever told us that it’s such a hard job to be a parent. Or had they?
It got better with time. Now our daughters are the most lovable beings in the world. But we came to it. With the first smile, first glance, first hug, first giggle, first stands, steps, words…we were attaching and loving each other more and more.
Parenting is hard: when your newly born bunch of happiness is kicking away, crying her lungs out and you just don’t know what’s wrong, when your toddler throws a tantrum, when your teenager doesn’t speak to you because you don’t let her go out at night or for whatever other reason, when your older child says ‘you shouldn’t have given birth to me’…
But parenting is also rewarding. That genuine happy smile when your child sees you after a separation, that tight hug when you pick her up, the understanding that you are the universe for this little person, you are their everything, doesn’t it make your heart melt? It definitely does, and all the sleepless nights, missed job opportunities, delayed holidays, they don’t matter as much as this human being that you’ve created, you raise and lead to the world, your unique experience which doesn’t resemble anyone else’s.
Becoming a parent or not is a very responsible decision. You cannot just give it back, you have to live with the results of this decision your whole life. Should everyone have a child? No, though some cultures or people think that yes, everyone does. Parenting is a hard and demanding job, the result of which can make happy or miserable, both parents and children. And usually, children suffer most. So, if you don’t feel like wanting to sacrifice your life for another human being, don’t. Just don’t spoil the lives of yours and your offspring. But if you do want to experience the fascinating journey of creating a new life… you know what to do.
And if you’ve decided that parenting is something for you, Books Every Parent Should Read will help you on this exciting journey. At least they’ve helped us. A lot.